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Filthy Gorgeous: The Bob Guccione Story - 2013 - 6/10

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By the numbers documentary of the publisher of Penthouse.
Mr Guccione's early struggles to establish himself as an artist, before launching the magazine.
Fights with self righteous moralizing zealots, the building of a publishing empire that included Omni and Spin.
Then not recognizing times were changing.
Assorted family and colleagues reflect, mostly positively, on the man they knew.
The doc feels shallow, like the producers built this up from online sources.
In other hands, perhaps this would have been better . . . perhaps not.
Guccione, Hefner, Flynt may not have been as compelling as their facade or empires.

Rolling Stone's profile of Guccione fills in more details than the doc -
https://www.rollingstone.com/culture/news/the-twilight-of-bob-guccione-20101021

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The Mountain Between Us - 2017 - 6/10

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All flights are canceled due to bad weather and approaching storm.
Undeterred, two very insistent travelers charter a prop plane because they are in a hurry.
Before one can say, "Hey, look at those black clouds," there is a malfunction and down they go.
Had the pilot filed a flight plan?  Had either passenger phoned home?  Ha ha.
Survival story of a man, a woman, and a dog, set amidst breathtaking Rockies.
The strangers are personality opposites, and yet there is a cliché about opposites.
Wait a minute!  You mean this is a romance story?
Do characters pluck along?  Find burnable wood?  Know how to make a fire?  Find shelter?
Acceptable premise, marred by ludicrous love story.  Unless L-O-V-E is your thing.

The Dog
[HIDE]Yeah, how about that canine?
The females I watched this with were distracted during the film.
"What's going to happen with that dog?"  "They better not kill that dog!"  "Omigod, the dog ran off!"
Me - "Look, two humans are half dead from starvation and hunger.  Not Fido, though, bounding all over the snow like that white stuff is cocaine."
Mr Dog, obviously not a method actor.[/HIDE]

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Hermann Goering:  Nazi Number One - 2006 - 7/10

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In depth biography of Reichsmarschall Goering, head of the Luftwaffe.
Childhood, member of Von Richthofen's Flying Circus during World War I, eventually the smiling, genial face of the Nazi party, the one the common folk could relate to.
Loaded with details:  his first marriage, his foot dragging regarding European war, morphine addiction, his retreat into dreams once the war soured.
A more ordinary soul, dishonest with sympathetic points, in the midst of clinical architects of the new order.
A wealth of his home movies were unearthed for this doc, which should pique the interest of history buffs.

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Festival! - 1967 - 7/10

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Document offers a nice sampler of the Folkie era at Newport from 1962 - 1966.
Almost all the major artists, and many less known, are given a song -- or part of a song.
This is not a history of the movement, but performance clips.
No pop music, though Joan Baez gives an impromptu "From Me To You" while signing autographs.
Dylan is acoustic, then electric with The Butterfield Blues Band, foreshadowing Monterey Pop.
Worthwhile, though dated and the lack of historical context is limiting.

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Cloverfield Paradox - 2018 - 4/10

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I suspected I would not like this, and fifteen minutes in I was rolling my eyes.
To be blunt, I don't care for Mr Abrams.  To me, he is the Michael Bay of this generation, pandering to the LCD.
Anyway ...
Planet Earth has almost run out of energy.  Solar, wind, geothermal, nuclear, never panned out, I guess.
Science types construct a big ole generator up in space to power humanity.
Once tests begin, things go haywire.
The crew immediately holler, point and explode emotionally.  Sorry, no rational types aboard.  (sorta like airline cockpits where pilots point and scream, "What's that light?  We're gonna die!!  Mommy!! Mommy!!")
Crew members also run all over the station.  Hey, ain't space supposed to be weightless?  Reference Gravity or Interstellar or The Expanse.  Nonetheless, the producer obviously thinks running is cool.
The plot involves alternate dimensions and the "cloverfield" connection is garbage.
Reviews have been dismal.  Believe them.  I wanted something spacey ... and got space poop.

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The Student - 2016 - 7/10
AKA - (M)uchenik

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Russian male student refuses to participate in high school swimming class.
Hauled before school administrators, he declares the bikini clad females are an affront to Biblical teaching.
What teaching?  His mother beside him wonders.  She works three jobs, they do not attend church.
No matter.  He carries the day and is exempt from swim class and girls are ordered to wear one piece suits.
Next, he escalates confrontations with teachers, his mother, priests, any who might buckle.
Unpleasant, uncompromising story of someone claiming moral authority to seize control.
Stage roots show after a bit, but acting is uniformly excellent.
I detested most characters:  the disrupter, the obsessed, the weaklings.

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Harbinger Down - 2015 - 6/10

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Alright horror B-film, unremarkable yet solidly done with a stone faced adult cast.
Arctic crab-fishing boat hauls aboard an icebound chunk of metal with a beacon of sorts.
It's a Soviet space probe from the 1980s, with dead cosmonaut inside.
While the crew returns to crabbing, one of the passengers (a science type) decides to dissect the corpse.
Sure enough, there is an alien stowaway who escapes into the darkness of the ship.  Then - dinner!
Plot borrows heavily from dozens of films.  The Thing, Alien, Life ...
The hungry critter, which grows rapidly, reminds one of the crawling chaos.
Predictable, with a couple twists, and the acting corps, led by Lance Henricksen, is sturdy.

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Holocaust Concentration Camp - 2006 - 5/10

Middling four part documentary series suffers from subpar production values.
Most have no music, relying on photos, film clips, testimonies, and narration.
Auschwitz has been better covered in Auschwitz: The Nazis and the Final Solution.
I had been looking forward to Majdanek as this camp was still functioning when the Soviets liberated it.
Mostly testimony, dry as dust.
Dachau and Sachsenhausen had colour footage and offered background - but - parts were lazy.
Example:  The narrator describes the SS starting the camp, yet newsreels are of the SA.
Himmler is referenced and shown, then in the next frame, still mentioning Himmler, Ernst Röhm is shown.
For the curious, I would recommend the chapter on Ravensbruck And Buchenwald.
The latter was a woman's camp, and this episode translates what various badges meant, hierarchies, and reasons for incarceration.

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So-called democracies would be well advised to study history.
Marginalization generally leads to persecution.  Walls can easily become camps.

“Where they burn books, they will ultimately also burn people”   - Heinrich Heine (1821)

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Creature From The Haunted Sea - 1961 - 4/10

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Thrill as shipboard romance is terrorized by google eyed monster demanding girl scout cookies!!
Oops, wait, sorry.
Cuban generalissimo, fleeing Castro's revolution with crate of gold, hires crooked American skipper.
Avarice swiftly swells to homicide, while a gruesome, unforgettable horror trawls in their wake.
Grade-D garbage from Roger Corman, filmed after he lensed two other films and still had another week of shooting time available in Puerto Rico.
Later marketed as a comedy, the humor is moronic and stupid.
As a Horror flick, c'mon as scary as an angry Brillo pad (which was what the creature costume was).

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Edgar Allan Poe: Love, Death, and Women - 2010 - 6/10

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Curious documentary on the writer's female influences.
Actress mother, child bride, fellow poet, and the last attempted fling.
Film follows Poe's well known chronology, literary career, as well as social skills shortcomings.
Actors play the women, reading from letters and poems.  Narrator reads Poe.
Story is intercut with silent films (I could not recognize) and experimental shorts.
In some ways effective, in other ways distracting.
Likewise the score.  Ambiant music is mixed with Pink Floyd, The Cure, others.
Perhaps not the first-choice documentary on Poe, and it does have odd moments, yet the theme of the four women in his life provides a unique slant.

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Nuns That Bite - 1977 - 6/10
AKA - Torn Priestess
AKA - Onna Gokumon-chô: Hikisakareta Risô // 女獄門帖 引き裂かれた尼僧

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Young woman, beaten and sexually abused by her master / lover, flees into the woods.
Next, she is "rescued" by two woodsmen who feed her before forcing themselves onto her.
Finally, she finds sanctuary in a remote convent of nuns.
The abbess indulges in opium, the acolytes seek spiritual awareness through sensual encounters.
Menfolk are not permitted, intruders meet a dire fate.
Short (barely an hour) nunsploitation flick packs in rapes, lesbianism, cannibalism, groovy funk music, loads of nudity, carnal romping, psychedelic magick, an almost incoherent plot, and over a dozen characters you will never keep track of.

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Avant l’hiver - 2013 - 6/10
AKA - Before The Winter Chill

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French neurosurgeon chats with an alluring waitress at a coffee shop.
Soon, he starts receiving flowers at home and at the practice.
No sender listed.  He also begins bumping into the tempting girl at random locations.
Is she stalking him?  Distracted, he begins meeting with her, sharing histories.
While everyone around him assumes he is having a mid-life crisis.
On surface, a French bedroom drama, only this holds an extremely dark heart.
The bloodless domestic elements receive more weight than the exotic thriller aspects.

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Hitchcock - 1986 - 6/10

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From the BBC Omnibus series, this shallow overview came out a few years after his death.
The first part covers his English era and early US years,
the second half covers his prime years and "decline."
Talking heads are a mixed lot, and most seem a tad dismissive, the writers especially so.
Some actresses also aired their laundry.  Again, this was released within a few years of his death.
Smattering of film clips with major omissions (The Lodger, Lifeboat, Notorious, To Catch A Thief, many others).
Worse, spoilers mar the film reviews (in 1986, most filmgoers had viewed the majority of Hitchcock's movies).

More recommended would be Alfred Hitchcock and David O. Selznick Collaborations, a documentary covering his early years in the States and lengthy struggles with the obsessive producer.

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Mystère à la Tour Eiffel - 2017 - 6/10

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There are a series of these Mystère films.  In the Louvre, At The Opera . . .
Ostensibly chick flick mysteries, these fall into the subgenre of "frock films."
Meaning, like the Miss Fisher series, aficionados watch these to admire the wardrobe.
I will try to limit myself to this lone review.

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There are a handful of murders in late 19th century Paris.
All would be considered "locked room" affairs.
The obvious culprit is the attractive, young blonde.
Magicians play a role, detectives are dim witted, and our heroine finds shelter in an underground lesbian enclave.
Narrative is generic, twists are implausible, the clothes - I admit - are very nice.

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Attack Of The Crab Monsters - 1957 - 4/10

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Lovers of crab claws or crab legs, how about a three foot serving?
Mind you, the crab itself is twenty feet wide, ravenous, and intellectual.
Say what?  There ain't no dinner as smart as me!
Think again, Farquar.  Radiated crabs scuttle forth to conquer Earth in this Roger Corman masterpiece.
A second wave of scientists arrive on a tiny, deserted island after the first group mysteriously disappear.
The Navy drops them off, then departs.  Their radio goes on the fritz, and is later smashed.
(Thank God, Russell Johnson ("The Professor") is there to repair it!)
I don't want to spoil too much.  Suffice to say, as Mr Crablegs eats more brains, he absorbs their intellects.
Makes one wonder what would happen if it attacked a Wal Mart.

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Last Night - 2010 - 7/10

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At the New York office shindig, a young wife's (Keira Knightley) radar is triggered by her husband's new coworker.
Her husband has been working late with the woman, and going on several out-of-town trips.
Nevertheless, he swears he has zero interest in his steamy colleague (Eva Mendes).
That's just before he takes off for another trip to Los Angeles ... with his coworker.
Just after he departs, an old flame of the wife knocks at her door.
From there on, the narrative weaves between the spouses.
Temptations, infidelity, and possible regret fill the storylines, and dialogue is peppered with innuendo.
A very adult, and cityscape drama.
As a long time urbanite, I could identify all the characters, though I could not identify with them.  Difference.

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City That Never Sleeps - 1953 - 5/10

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The city, in this case Chicago, may not sleep, but this was a snoozer for me.
Marked as Film Noir, it is not.  This is a cop drama as a stolid cop contemplates turning in his badge.
An entrenched kingpin has offered him a hefty retainer to punish an uppity minion.
The copper, Gig Young, is sour on the uniform, the citizens, the whole night-in night-out.
His wife even makes more money than he does!  Plus, a dancer (burlesque) has the hots for him!
Well, forget Officer Sad Sack.
William Talman, in an edgy villainous role, owns the screen as the aforementioned underling who harbors berserk fury.
The Reaper could not have recruited a better soldier.

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Une Vie Meilleure - 2011 - 6/10
AKA - A Better Life

A young couple discover an abandoned house, in the middle of nowhere, but near the lake.
"I could create a classy restaurant here!"  says the male, a school cook.
We just need to borrow enough money ...

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As any older soul could warn, there are dreams, and there are pipedreams.
The couple, and it is very difficult to ascertain how long they have known each other, take on debt.
Crushing debt.  But it's for a better life, right?  A glorious future!
The story wears one down.  The man has an unpleasant streak, the woman nurses illusions of her own, plus she has a son whom she drags into the swamp.
The bitter passage that we have all either witnessed or experienced.

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I, Tonya - 2017 - 7/10

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Uncomfortable story of the damaged, yet gifted individual.
In other spheres, participants are judged on talent.  Their gifts.  Not always, of course.
With figure s****ers, presentation factors more than ability.  A wholesome back story counts double.
Tonya Harding's ugly, messy life overshadowed her jaw dropping athletic abilities.
Again and again and again, judges penalized her because she was not pretty, her costumes reflected her meager budget limitations, and because of her rough edge.
In many ways, an extremely funny film, this will leave a foul taste in your mouth, and perhaps an utter disgust at the so-called sport of figure s****ing.

My bride and I followed figure s****ing for almost two decades.  Caught celebratory ice tours afterward, even tried to buy tickets for a couple of Olympics (concert scalpers have nothing on that racket).
After the drama packed '94 Olympics, we lost our enthusiasm, and never viewed s****ing again.
As "sport," it was more theatre and politics, and felt a little fixed.  (Christine Brennan's expose, "Inside Edge," confirmed grumbles and aired scandals.)
Probably had thus ever been, but dreamers clutch after candy floss until it falls.

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Pulgasari - 1985 - 5/10
AKA - Chosŏn'gŭl // 불가사리

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Young males depart their beloved village to become mountain bandits and oppose the dastardly ruler.
The wicked despot, in turn, imprisons women and elders, and smelts their pots and shovels to make swords!
Ye, verily do the rich and powerful oppress the poor and weak.
Then, a miracle!  A starving village smith fashions a small totem out of rice and mud.
The totem awakens, devours pins and nails, and Lo! begins to grow prodigiously.
Soon, the now towering metal force allies with villagers in sweeping battles with the malevolent king!
The growling beast would fit in with Japanese monsters, the feel is vintage Shaw Brothers.
Though cheap looking, there are numerous fights, thousands of extras, and the villainous tyrant is wily.
To be fair, I cut this North Korean film some slack because .. well .. it's the first film I've ever seen from that country.

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