Recommend a movie

[Vultural]

Sweet Karma - 2009 - 6/10
AKA - Сладкая Cудьба

Dark revenge exploitation flick, recalling grindhouse fare from the 70’s.
Russian girl, Karma, goes to Toronto searching for her sister.
Sis had signed a contract for that great paying housekeeping job.
Which turned out to be sex trade.
Naked women, pole dancing, strip clubs, rapes, fish net n leather.
Karma follows the trail of revenge.  Knives, tire irons, strangling.
Old school vengeance.  Nothing original.  Film stock poor, look is appropriately grainy.

[Vultural]

French Sex Murders - 1972 - 5/10
AKA - Casa d’appuntamento

Watchable Italian Giallo revolving around, surprise, a serial killer!
After an opening leap from the Eiffel Tower, flashbacks swirl.
The villain is especially despicable as he is swiping jewels from the church.  Stealing from God!
Then, in a very wise move, he decides to hide in a sporting house packed with juicy hotties.

Five minutes later, he is on the run again.  This time for murder!
He better flee quick because Humphrey Bogart is on his tail.

Bogie lookalike Roberto Sacchi plays the police inspector and is the main reason to watch this confused mess.
Oh, yes, Anita Ekberg is the brothel madam, and the professor’s assistant resembles Carl Sagan.
There is a decent amount of nudity, coupling, chases, stabbings, beheadings.
The pace percolates briskly.  Even when flaws and plot gaps a mile wide hit, we could not nitpick them because another crazy scene crashed and we were lured back in.
One sorry movie that will appeal to - - you know who you are.

[Vultural]

The Man From Beyond - 1922 - 5/10

Harry Houdini silent.
Yes, the legendary escape artist made a number of films, but this was not his best.
Houdini, discovered in an Arctic shipwreck was chopped out of a huge chuck of ice.
After thawing, he revived, and it turned out he has been there since 1820.  100 years.
In no time flat, he found a female who resembled his long lost flame.
Plot detours into reincarnation territory, one of Houdini's obsessions.
A cliff hanging sequence (literally) and swim near the top of Niagara Falls are highlights.

[Vultural]

25th Reich - 2012 - 3/10

First was the Third Reich, followed inevitably by the 25th Reich.
Yep, more Nazis.  Wish writers could come up with new baddies.
This lacked the budget of Iron Sky.
During WWII, a squad of US GIs in Australia (?!?) are hunting two escaped pumas.  Yes, glorified dog catchers, only they are hunting big cats.
First hour is all walk n talk.  Endless trudging montages, followed by 5-10 minutes of exposition to advance the plot.  Yawn.
Last 20 minutes, the film roars into overdrive.
Nazis, space ships, gunfights, time travel, spider tanks, disturbing sex, cliffhanger.  Bad CGI.
You already know how feeble you are.  If you are still reading, hunt down this loser.

[Vultural]

Crosswinds - 1951 - 6/10

Old-fashioned, Technicolor adventure yarn from Paramount.
Small time skipper, with a really nice boat, gets fleeced out of same boat by good natured swindler.
A hunt for hidden pearls lands him into trouble with the local constabulary.
Next, the skipper teams up with a pair of genial swindlers.
Everyone soon hurries to the crash site of a plane packed with gold bullion.
The coordinates are in crocodile infested waters, patrolled by a village of head-hunters!
Solid cast (John Payne, Forrest Tucker, Rhonda Fleming) are suitably middle aged weary.
Alliances form and break as all aboard maneuver for that gold, and dodge spears, arrows, blowdarts, and those ever chomping crocodiles.
Old school in every sense of the word.
Observant viewers will note underwater scenes take place in the exact same location each time.

Though supposedly set in New Guinea, opening credits listed Weeki Wachee,
a real place I used to visit as a kid.  Florida tourist trap famed for its “live mermaids” underwater act.
In fact - and sorry for digressing - you can write the mermaids and they will write back.
The park refers to this as “Tail Mail” - I kid you not.

[Vultural]

The Final Girls - 2015 - 7/10

Intelligent, funny, loving tribute to slasher films of the 80s.
From opening “Camp Bloodbath” trailer, to synth music, tunes by Kim Carnes and Warrant, to key ingredients of masked psychopath, keen edged weapon, horny teenagers, empty campground, this film scores again and again.
Tone jumps from howlingly funny to bittersweet, often in a heartbeat.
The mother-daughter element, which breaks formula rules, is very potent.
What is so enjoyable is the script is whip-smart, ironic and reverent.
You can tell the creators have a true fondness for the genre.

DO NOT VIEW THE TRAILER!!  It reveals the whole story and many of the surprise jokes.

Watch the opening, homage trailer instead.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QUnqeLj2bKA

[Vultural]

Lords Of Salem - 2012  - 6/10

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Radio DJ Heidi receives a wooden box with a vinyl recording inside.
She plays it on the air and it profoundly affects her as well as many female listeners.
Record player?  People who actually listen to radio at night?
Just try to go with it.
Heidi lives in an old brick apartment.  Her neighbors include aging, nosey biddies.
And some disquieting shadow who lives in the “empty” apartment.
This is extremely slow going, but moody and downright creepy at times.
For the unwary, this is also a Rob Zombie film.  A director one loves or hates.
I found his previous outings to be stupid, unfunny, poorly filmed, amateurish.
As mentioned, Lords Of Salem crawls along, if possible each act gets slower.
It is a “haunted” story and probably falls into sub-category of Chick Horror.
Expect a lot of nudity.  Mostly female, though most appear to be of the clutch who clean buildings at night or work fast food joints.
Those expecting supermodels. consider yourself warned.

[Vultural]

Sharktopus Vs Whalewolf - 2015 - 2/10

Yeah, I know, I asked for it.
Witless stupid sequel to an already awful movie.
This installment aims for a more comic approach (think Sharknado franchise), only the humor is on a three year old level.
Sharky is same old guy, whalewolf has expressive eyes and resembles Wile E Coyote.
Human actors are uniformly crappy across the board.
Lots of meals, aquatic tussles, blood splatters.
Still, this film bored me.

[Vultural]

The Undead - 1957 - 4/10

Roger Corman cheapie filmed inside an empty supermarket.
De-listed scientist, after having traveled in Nepal, hires a hooker (named Diana Love) to help with research.
No, not that kind of research.  Hypnosis / regression into past lives.
Anyway, Miss Love drifts back to the Middle Ages and recalls she is imprisoned and scheduled for a beheading.
The “witch” accusation carries a heavy punishment.
Her “modern” soul gives her alter-ego escape advice, which results in altering the time line!
One of the best reasons to watch this flick is for “real witch” (sexy Allison Hayes) with her imp (Billy Barty).

If you didn’t get enough of Ms Hayes in Attack Of The 50 Foot Woman this has more bodacious goodies.
Acting in the modern sequences is wooden, lines poorly delivered.
Problems are less noticeable in the medieval era because everyone speaks a Shakespearian hybrid dialect.
Atmospheric score.  Cheap, though OK special effects (don’t expect too much).
Mr Satan is a laissez faire bon vivant, and a cheerful pragmatic.

[Vultural]

Rosemary’s Baby - Hell A Cometh Swift - 1968 / 2014 - 7/10

Black n white fanedit of classic Polanski film.
Aside from the decolouring, 16 minutes were trimmed to tighten the pace.
Many of the cuts were references from the Levin book.  This novel was wildly popular in its day, in a time when more people read.  Older viewers may miss the cuts - younger viewers might have been puzzled by the material.
The film, by the way, works well in black n white.

Young couple move into old building they can barely afford.
The wife does not work, but hopes to get pregnant soon.  Luckily the husband is a struggling actor.
They are befriended by elderly neighbors.  The man, 79, is a pleasant raconteur.  His wife, played by an on-fire Ruth Gordon, is a pushy, gregarious, nosy, busybody.
The narrative unfolds slowly.  A sinister brownstone, smiling neighbors with dark agendas, betrayals and pacts.
Mia Farrow terrific as young wife who instinctively knows something is desperately wrong.
Classic Horror, though the pace will madden impatient souls.
Those unfamiliar with Levin’s novel might prefer the quicker tempo from faneditor MusicEd921, though they might not appreciate black n white.
The original remains a must-see.

[Vultural]

Scream And Scream Again - 1970 - 6/10

Man jogging in busy downtown London collapses from obvious heart attack.
When he wakes up, he’s missing a leg!  Later on, he wakes up to another missing leg!

OK, this film is about harvesting.
No no no.  Next scene is in a fascist military regime.  Spies and conspiracies.

Quick shift back to London where police are chasing after a brutal killer who’s targeting women.
Couple other threads stack this entertaining, if bewildering, horror thriller.
Vincent Price, Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing (don’t blink) headline a strong cast.
There is a too much going on.  Defenders say filmmakers decided viewers were smart enough to connect the storylines.  It seems a pieced together job, nonetheless.
The pace is rarely dull, there is nudity, chases, bloody killings, and enough plot jumps to keep your head spinning.
Not a great horror film by a longshot, but contains memorable scenes.
The jogger/patient is quietly unsettling.

[Vultural]

The Brest Fortress // Fortress Of War - 2010 - 7/10
AKA - Брестская Kрепость

No-holds barred WWII guts n glory film, told from the besieged Soviet point of view.
In 1941, the Soviets were unprepared, poorly trained, complacent, and, if you recall your history, supplying raw materials to their German “ally” up to the last hour.
The Brest fortress is an obsolete relic, ill equipped for the Wehrmacht, at its zenith in '41.
Film scores in not being jingoistic or packed with propaganda.  Poor planning results in failure.
Even heroism is no match for Stukas, Panzers and machine gun fire.
Film is problematic, however, in that it provides scant background details.
Nothing is shown of the German planning for Operation Barbarossa, or the overall offensive around Minsk.
Of course, the entire film is from the Soviet defenders’ perspective, and they would be likewise ignorant of German High Command strategy.
There were also an awful lot of characters in this and roles and ranks were often confusing.
Don’t let that deter you, if curious.  Hunt down the documentary series Soviet Storm if truly interested.

[Vultural]

Mysterious Doctor Satan - 1940 - 5/10

Vintage Republic serial.
The Copperhead tries to save the earth from Doctor Satan.
Satan intends to conquer the planet using robots that resemble and move like drunken trash cans.
Copperhead is secretly Bob Wayne (unknown if he was related to Bruce Wayne). No one else knows, even though he'll be Bob one second, then bound in as Copperhead, still wearing the same suit and tie.  His voice is not disguised, and Copperhead drives Bob's cars!
Most action is of the fisticuff variety.
Not the best, though I've sat through worse.

[Vultural]

The Whisperer In Darkness - 2011 - 7/10

A second winner from the HPL Historical Society, first being Call Of Cthulhu.
Filmed as 30s B/W, in the Universal world. Good sets, score, even effects.
When one realizes their budget was 350K, you can appreciate how much was accomplished.
Plot built steadily, though it was slow and a couple of scenes would have benefited from trims.
Otherwise, nice job if you are in the mood for cerebral horror, using a vintage template.

[Vultural]

Out Of Mind: The Stories Of H.P. Lovecraft - 1998 - 7/10

Satisfying homage to HPL.
Mixes several stories together, and adds typical Lovecraft themes of dislocation, time shifting, and indifferent alien presences.
Fine acting all around, with Christopher Heyerdahl a ringer for a thoughtful HPL.
The other character was the oft-played Randolph Carter.
All mood and suggestion, scant monster minutes.

[Vultural]

The Wolfpack - 2015 - 5/10

Exasperating documentary that offers more unanswered questions than insight.
Story of seven sheltered children growing up in lower east side New York.
Sheltered, as having over-protective parents (dad) in the extreme.
The kids were never allowed to leave the apartment or interact with dangerous New Yorkers.
What social skills they learned were from television and DVDs.
In the doc, they act out scenes from Reservoir Dogs and Pulp Fiction.
Straight off, seven kids, two parents, New York apartment - how can they afford rent?
Especially since the Peru born father never got a green card and never found work.
The boys speculate they own 5000 VHS and DVDs.  How were those purchased?
There is a daughter, not shown.  The boys confide they heard dad slap their mom.
Was there abuse going on?  What sort?
Where was Child Protective Services?
One of the boys (I had trouble separating) mentioned Mom was paid for home schooling them.
Huh?  New York pays home schooling parents?  Enough for rent, utilities, food, clothes, etc ... ?
Plus, how did they pay for doctor visits, the dentist.
The family story is odd to the point of bizarre, yet the storytelling is a rambling, incoherent jumble.
Much is unsaid, much may be invented.
Be wary when watching this one.

[Vultural]

Internet’s Own Boy - 2014 - 7/10

Poignant documentary of Aaron Swartz, prodigy and Internet activist.
Swartz was part of the team who developed RSS web feed code (he was 14 at the time) and was instrumental in developing CC (creative commons copyright).
He landed in prosecutorial crosshairs after uploading public information and knowledge that private corporations were charging for.
Perhaps his shining moment was rousing public opinion against the SOPA bill which was considered a done-deal.
Everyone who uses the Internet is indebted to him.
Film very good about showing what Swartz did, and one got a good feel for his personality.
Narrative brutally honest about Federal agents intimidating and coercing Swartz’s  friends during interrogations.
No punches pulled when showing overzealous prosecutor, as well as dubious souls who have never been prosecuted (big bankers, a couple of familiar software guys), but stops short of highlighting MIT involvement and lack of intervention.  Swartz might well be alive today had MIT acted better.
Very well done.  Inspiring.  Sad.

[Vultural]

Expensive Women - 1931 - 6/10

Early Pre-Code melodrama opens with woman in lingerie chatting with friend in bathtub.
Plot meanders into bored rich types, quite the thing in the Great Depression, who drink and party all day.
Heiress Dolores Costello meets composer William Warren and they seem a good fit,

until she meets his younger friend, a dashing but weak willed gentleman.
Affairs, guilt, oh-so-adult agreements while everyone drinks and dances and laughs.
With something like this I usually end up looking at gowns and set-design.
Interiors all seem to be so white back then.
Photography is period “silver screen” though all shots of Costello and her campy friend (Polly Walters) soft focus.
One of the party goers resembles Wini Shaw (“Lullaby Of Broadway") though I could find no confirmation of such.

[Vultural]

Flying Swords Of Dragon Gate - 2011 - 5/10

Remake of Tsui Hark's 1992 classic, Dragon Gate Inn (which itself was a remake).
Powerful eunuchs are obstructed by the rebels.
Swords and arrows converge at Dragon Gate Inn, as do Mongols and a monster sandstorm.
CGI effects are like salt, best used sparingly.
In this modern update, the effects are numerous, over the top, and distracting.
What is used sparingly, is Jet Li.  Little kung fu, much wire work.
Seek out the '92 version with Tony Leung, Brigitte Lin & Maggie Cheung (both radiant), and an ass kicking Donnie Yen.

[Vultural]

Take A Girl Like You - 1969 - 6/10

British romantic comedy of cavalier bachelor Oliver Reed meeting Hayley Mills (AKA - Miss Virgin).
Story is scant more than flirting, groping, blue-balled frustration.
Noel Harrison plays rich playboy hoping to save his manor from council airport expansion.
He also displays a lighter touch with the ladies, most of whom (with the exception of Miss Mills) are eager for the impromptu romp, no matter the settings.
Very Swinging 60s attitude pervades, though Reed seems way too old for the role.
To be fair, this was probably filmed in '68 and Reed would have been 30.  He looks 45, however.
Watch for Penelope Keith as - surprise - a Tory poll worker.