Recommend a movie

[Vultural]

Body Jumper - 2001 - 3/10

Another masterpiece.
Busload of students teach impoverished natives exercise to improve their wretched lives.
Malcontent wino heckles them the village beyond help, it is cursed.
That night, the hottest girl from the bus bathes in the haunted lake and is swiftly possessed by liver eating ghost.
Two heartbeats later, students back in Bangkok, and the once-shy girl now has an appetite for boyfriends.
Guys who soon turn jaundice yellow and die of liver failure.
More comedy than horror, comedy also silly and juvenile, though plot points are inventive.
Of course she is harvesting livers.  Their backs is to her, briefs down, shortest route = the back entrance.
Add a gushy transgender, an out of place dance party, chases through ventilator ducts, a flying shaman with umbrella and magic condoms, and you have a knuckle-headed winner.

Edited May 24, 2020 by Vultural

[Vultural]

Footnote - 2011 - 6/10 - 2011

Israeli story of two scholars.  The popular professor and the dour iconoclast.
Both nominated for the top Israel prize for Talmudic studies.
Oh, yeah, they were father and son, with all the rivalry that implied.
Bitter complications arise after the winner is announced.
Film very frustrating on multiple levels.  The way characters interact with each other.
Family members are introduced, troubles displayed, then nothing.
Females were afterthoughts.
Well done, but I did not enjoy this at all.  Despite ads, it was not funny, either.

Edited May 24, 2020 by Vultural

[Vultural]

The Phantom Strikes! - 1996/2013 - 6/10

Another winning reworking from the folks at FanEdit.
Phantom recast as a 30s black n white action ride.
Cheesy humor eliminated, nice removal of sloppy (visible wires and doubles) stunt work, and reining in of Treat Williams original over-the-top, ham fisted acting.
The tone is still straight PG, and Billy Zane’s Ghost Who Walks is awfully polite.  And, why on earth he prefers whitebread Kristy Swanson over smoldering Catherine Zeta Jones is beyond comprehension.
Anyway, worth seeking out this spirited romp through a 30s time tunnel.

Edited May 24, 2020 by Vultural

[Vultural]

The First Day Of The Rest Of Your Life - 2008 - 6/10
AKA:  Le Premier Jour du Reste de ta Vie

French drama following a middle class family for about a decade.
Film hones in on five specific - important - days for the family.
When the oldest moves out, a wedding, death . . .
Most of the actors will be familiar if you view enough French fare.
Nice soundtrack, several funny scenes, bits of drama, but nothing over the top or false.

Edited May 24, 2020 by Vultural

[Vultural]

Footsteps In The Dark - 1941 - 6/10

Comedy - mystery starring Errol Flynn, and a fun change of pace for Warners’ action hero.
Investment broker pens best selling mystery novel under pseudonym.
Next he sets off solving real crimes, on the sly, with suspicious wife on his heels.
Breezy, lightweight, brisk paced fluff with solid Warners’ regulars in support.
Flynn and Brenda Marshall show genuine chemistry, and this felt like it might have made a good series.

Edited May 24, 2020 by Vultural

[Vultural]

Ebola Syndrome - 1996 - 7/10

Somewhere, this tasteless, trashy, over the top, gleefully perverse Hong Kong Cat 3 masterpiece is flying off the shelves.
Anthony Wong may be best known as the villain in Hard Boiled or Untold Story, but for sheer sleazy glory, this one is in a category all by itself.
Without giving too much away, after he rapes his boss’s wife, then kills her and his boss, lowly cook flees to Africa.
There is a massive outbreak of ebola, so he and a buyer drive to an infected village to buy dead cows cheap.
Blinded by lust, the cook jumps a corpse and catches the incurable.
Only, instead of dying, he becomes a carrier.
As soon as he realizes that, sharing time begins.
Hong Kong bad boy director, Herman Yau, made many films like this, but this exploitative jewel is the best.

Edited May 24, 2020 by Vultural

[Vultural]

She Creature - 2001 - 6/10

Dublin carnies fleece the rubes with fake zombie and fake mermaid in 1904.

They encounter the seemingly “real deal” and kidnap it, then book passage for America.
PT Barnum, Ringling Bros, and limitless wealth beckons.
They fail to realize as the ship sails the Atlantic, the creature’s influence and power grows.
Modest production values (Stan Winston involved), capable set of actors, intelligent script.
Decent late night yarn.  Beware nudity and erotic situations.

Edited May 24, 2020 by Vultural

[Vultural]

Dog Soldiers - 2002 - 6/10

Claustrophobic actioner finds military squad trapped in seemingly deserted country house.
Besieged by a pack of werewolves!  The monsters were all stuffed puppets or cardboard standups.
Howlingly funny at times, and did not take itself too seriously.  Government plots offset by dark humor.
Good macho cast anchored by Liam Cunningham, Kevin McKidd, and Sean Pertwee (Why, by the way, is Pertwee not considered for Dr Who?).
Director Neil Marshall would go on to bigger budgeted movies, but none had the heart and humor of this one.

Edited May 24, 2020 by Vultural

[Vultural]

Godzilla Vs Cthulhu - 2041 - 7/10

Cranky lizard with paint peeling breath confronts the tentacled god of R’yleh.
Somnambulant buildup of greedy developers trying to seize a small, impoverished seaside monastery.
(Ever notice developers are always greedy, always bullying poor folks?)
Valiantly, the Sisters Of Graceful Tides hold a music concert to raise funds.
Shonen Knife, screeching a cover version of Blue Öyster Cult’s “Godzilla,” icurs the wrath of Godzilla who always hated the chorus.  Squawking and flaming, he crashes ashore.
Then, as terrified screams and howls somehow fuse into "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn," you guessed it, dread Cthulhu heaves from the waves.
At this point, the Japanese fondness for hentai results in truly horrifying erotic grappling, which will not be elaborated upon further.
The pace hits overdrive and action roars nonstop.  Yakuza hitmen arrive, as well as vegan mercenaries on Vespa scooters, nude nuns with knives, parachuting Russian bodybuilders, a squad of horny female lifeguards, and an annoying old alcoholic woman in a squeaking wheelchair.
Red hot flames - roasted brains - blood oath claims - gangbang chains - putrid stains
In other words - absolute must see classic!

Edited May 24, 2020 by Vultural

[Vultural]

Dear Murderer - 1947 - 5/10

The opening was one of the longest “prepare to die” speeches I have ever seen.
Twenty minutes.
Suave, cuckolded Eric Portman, visits then subdues his rival.  Next, he tells how he learned of the man’s bush brushing while he was overseas, and how he intends to kill him.
Afterward, he spends another five minutes doing the deed and scattering the false trail.
Then all the steam escapes, and the plot plods into police procedural.
Turns out, hot, cheating wife (Greta Gynt) has a history of running around.  She’s already lined up her next man snack.  Her husband needs roller skates to snuff everyone grazing her grass.
Nice lighting, lot of Noir touches, though this is very much in the British mystery vein.
Alright, at best.  Dull and disappointing at worst.

Edited May 22, 2020 by Vultural

[Vultural]

Last Love - 2013 - 6/10

Michael Caine as recent widower adrift in Paris.
A female passenger on bus sees him, sees that he is lost, terribly bereaved, but not dead.
Their relationship reawakens his interest in life.  New hobbies, new classes, new cafes.
Plot felt refried, and Caine couldn’t hold his American (New York) accent for more than a couple beats.
Interesting film, nevertheless, which held my attention throughout.

We had an uncle who lost his wife of 50+ years.
Like Caine’s character, he was terribly despondent and emotionally shattered.
We visited him several times and always cheered him up.  Likewise, my wife’s sister, who brought him out to her sunny home.  Everyone lives so far away, though.
There were other factors, of course, there always are.  Yet in the end he died of a broken heart.

Edited May 24, 2020 by Vultural

[Vultural]

Pandora's Box - 1928 - 8/10

Silent masterpiece directed by Pabst.
Louise Brooks mesmerizing as Lulu, the destroying angel.
Frank carnality, quite explicit for its time.
Men succumb to her charms, exploit her, blackmail her, ransom her.
Every encounter leaves the males worse.

First section, set in the hectic theatre world, brilliantly captures the frantic Weimar Republic era.
Narrative shifts from Berlin to the gambling boat to fog cloaked London.  
Shocking in its day, film barely seen in the States.
Willful, self-destructive Brooks slipped into decades of oblivion soon afterward.

Edited May 24, 2020 by Vultural

[Vultural]

Le Moine - 2011 - 7/10
AKA - The Monk

French film, set in 17th century Madrid.
Foundling abandoned outside monastery is taken in by monks, subsequently raised as one of their own.
In time, the orphan grows into the monastery’s rock star (Vincent Cassel).
Devoted followers from near and far pack the chapel to listen to his sermons, give confession.
Enter the serpent, a new acolyte, clad in an expressive leather mask to conceal the ravages of disease.
Visuals are ravishing, with several remarkable set pieces.
Performances are subdued, troubled, including Déborah François in a supporting role.
An ominous undercurrent builds throughout, but there is nothing in the way of explosive action.
Story is not necessarily the most original, though handsomely presented.
Will prove excruciatingly slow for impatient viewers.

Edited May 22, 2020 by Vultural

[Vultural]

The Silence - 2010 - 7/10

Grim business in small town Germany.
Young girl on bicycle followed onto lonely dirt road, raped, killed.
Community shocked, police tear themselves apart trying to find murderer.  Nothing.
Twenty years later, an identical crime of young girl on exact same stretch of road.
A new generation of cops investigate, realize it is not a copycat, but the killer has returned.
Engrossing, absorbing thriller, though not necessarily entertaining.
Perhaps not for parents, certainly not the squeamish.

Edited May 24, 2020 by Vultural

[Vultural]

Byzantium - 2013 - 6/10

Arched vampire film (sounded like a play to me) set in Hastings and Dublin.
Dual threads of modern girls eeking a living by petty crimes and prostitution, being trailed by two men in blue gloves.  Secondary thread is of same girls, two hundred years earlier, and how they came to be "turned."
Slow, low on thrills, yet avoids the usual cliches.  Mysterious order and isolated cave involved.
Violates vampire rules such as daylight and mirrors - I am seeing this more often lately.
Top crew led by Neil Jordan.

Edited May 24, 2020 by Vultural

[Vultural]

The Conjuring - 2013 - 6/10

Family of seven moves into possessed house deep in the woods.
Quickly discovers the boarded up cellar, followed by bumps in the night.
Oh, and the family dog refuses to enter the house.
As always, they have never seen a Horror film or read a ghost story.
Renowned demonologists arrive and paranormal activity soars.
Not a bad film, I was lucky to watch it while a crashing thunderstorm howled outside.
Despite the children, five girls, the director does not succumb to child exploitation.

Edited May 24, 2020 by Vultural

[Vultural]

At The Mountains Of Madness - 2011 - 6/10

Who needs Del Toro when there is this 33 minute Italian animated version?
Doomed Miskatonic expedition searches for lost civilization in the frozen wastes.
Discovers the labyrinthian city of non Euclidian angles.
And Elder Thing remains.  And Shoggoths.
First the dogs, then the men.
Entertaining quickie.  Available free in HD with English subtitles.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xvpBDopIMxw
 

Edited May 24, 2020 by Vultural

[Vultural]

The Call Of Cthulhu - 2005 - 7/10

Inventive adaptation of HP Lovecraft story as black and white, silent movie.
Created by the H P Lovecraft Historical Society.
Extremely faithful to the work, plot follows our narrator going through his uncle’s journals
of dark cults, madness in asylums (Arkham), and the sea going quest.
Nephew sets off toward mysterious ocean coordinates as the stars align and mighty Cthulhu arises.
Cheap watery sets, cheaper rubber monster - - Who cares?
Great fun.

Edited May 24, 2020 by Vultural

[Vultural]

The Greatest Movie Ever Sold - 2011 - 6/10

Watchable, though not particularly illuminating documentary on product placement.
Morgan Spurlock visits image consultants and product representatives, and pitches his notion of having them fund his documentary in exchange for gratuitous advertising throughout.
The consultants and executives are far more interesting than the concept.
At least one of the products I had no idea was still around - so this was a win for them.
Major companies who declined had me scratching my head.
The budget for this film was miniscule.  $1.5 million.  A major corporation’s investment would have been petty.
Decline.  One pled that documentary viewers were too few to matter.
Perhaps.  Spurlock remains a recognizable name, however, and documentary viewers are oft times intelligent.
Film was short, humorous, and I did sympathize with company honchos.
Notwithstanding, I do tune out their ads.

Edited May 22, 2020 by Vultural

[Vultural]

The Look Of Love - 2013 - 5/10

Sweeping bio of Soho smut peddler, Paul Raymond, played by Steve Coogan.
Fun to watch as Raymond grows from nudie revues to glossy mens mags to acquiring huge real estate holdings.
Not much depth, however, as years roll from 1958 to 1992 in 101 minutes.
Needless to say, the story was a touch of this, a dash of that, sifted in a shallow bowl.

Edited May 24, 2020 by Vultural